Get to the Other side of Trauma

As the police left that afternoon he handed my husband a card for Mental Health and told him I would need it. 

Hard things are a part of life. And the beautiful thing about the hard things is that they have the ability to develop beauty and wisdom and strength in us. 
This, however, is a choice. We have all seen people who have been through hard things who are bitter and angry and miserable to be around. Is that who you want to become? I'm going to assume that if you are here you desire more than that for yourself and your family.

Keep this in mind as you face the hard things in life, remind yourself that you can allow this challenge you face, to make you stronger, wiser and more gracious, or you can let it make you bitter, anxious and miserable. 

When I returned home with my 18 month old son after spending a night in the hospital  to ensure he would fully recover, I knew I didn't want to be afraid or anxious. I am rather high strung to begin with. Now I had triggers that set me off on top of it. I had a choice. I could allow those things to trigger me and be an excuse to be a basket case, or I could take control. 

I discovered some tools that enabled me to fully recover from this incident! A month after the incident I took my babies swimming and I had total peace of mine! Two months later I was sitting on the beach, watching them swim, I was totally in awe of the fact that I was completely relaxed and able to enjoy this time with them, despite what had just happened two months prior.

This made me realize that what I had just discovered could be applied to other areas of trauma in my life. I have since been able to help 1oo's of people learn how to walk through the pain of trauma and get to the other side, Complete and Empowered.
Step One:
Are you safe?

Survival mode actually serves a purpose. It helps us do what we need to in order to get through the season we are in. If we are not in a safe place we will remain in survival mode until we feel safe enough to rest and heal. If you are in a safe place physically and emotionally, you may need to remind yourself of this. Your body may still feel like there is a threat looming, so you will need to take control of your thoughts around this. We will get more into that shortly.

If you are not in a safe place, physically or emotionally, then you will not be able to process this pain, Take time to figure out what is causing you to not feel safe. You may need to remove yourself from a situation in order to be safe. Below are some resources that you may find helpful.

Step Two:
Embrace the Pain

I sat next to a beautiful human being last week. One minute she was smiles and laughter, playful and sweet, the next minute she was on the couch weeping. "it's been 30 years, why do I still feel this way?" He first husband had beat her down, literally, nearly crushing her skull on the cement. In that moment she had wanted to die. She wanted the pain to end. But eventually she had managed to break free, with her 3 children, and start a new life. This new life full of beauty and restoration, still didn't dissolve the pain she felt. 

In situations like this, survival mode is often the path we take. We put the pain and emotion in a box on a shelf somewhere. For my friend, this helped her start a new life, raise her children and serve her community. But when the box is reopened, it's as if no time has passed. The wound hasn't healed. 

Most people choose not to open that box at all. Our society does everything it can to dull the pain or avoid it altogether. But in my experience, when we do that, it is like wrapping a wound in an airtight bandage causing it to fester rather than heal. We need to let the wound breath so that it can heal. No one likes this process but we can all agree that it is necessary and good.

Embracing the pain is likely the hardest part. So let me encourage you, the fear of the pain is actually worse than the pain itself. Our instincts kick in and we never want to go back into that place again. Everything in us resists. But if you recognize that what is happening is simply instinctual, and that you can over ride it with choice, you can step towards breaking free from the trauma you feel.

As I sat next to my weeping friend, I was able to encourage her that feeling this pain was helping her to get to the other side of it. Embracing it was empowering her to overcome it. And that soon she would be able to share her story with joy and confidence, no longer weighed down by shame or fear.

Step Three:
Take control of your body

Your body is freaking out. It's in fight or flight, survival mode. Your body doesn't know that the treat is no longer there. You need to retrain it. Here's how.

Step Four:
Take control of your thoughts

This is likely the hardest part. So let me encourage you, the fear of the pain is actually worse than the pain itself.

Step Five:
Repeat as needed

In my experience, we heal in layers. If we tried to deal with everyting all at once, it may be too much for a person to manage.

How can I help you? 

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Mother's Day can be hard! With all the busyness of life, hopeful expectations, and any other grief we may be carrying, a day that is meant for celebration can become painful. This week I was sorting through my feelings about the day. Trying to set healthy expectations for myself and others, during a very busy time of year for us farmers. 

Here's what I noticed

1. There were a few things I needed to let go of. Things I needed to give myself space to grieve. And there were fears that I needed to shake off. 

2. There were things I needed to ask for. I took time to think about what I actually wanted for this weekend and express those desires. (I plan to take my mom to the greenhouse on Saturday and then we plan to go to the lake on Sunday, it's supposed to be beautiful!)

3. I needed to give myself permission to have joy in this season. This was something I didn't even realize until something beautiful happened You may think this is a coincidence, but I would call it a gift from my  Heavenly Father. TWO days in a row, two separate people prayed for me and both shared the image of a duck shaking off water. Have you ever seen this? It's truly one of the cutest things ever. They shake their little tails and the water flies off in every direction. I don't think there's a person alive who can see this and not feel JOY in their heart.  

For me this image is two-fold. 

First, shaking off the fear. I'm discovering that all the most painful things in life are rooted in fear. 

Second, embracing joy. I don't think we can hold joy and fear at the same time. We have to let go of the fear before we can hold the joy. When I heard that prayer yesterday, it struck me that this prayer was a gift from God, for me. And if you are reading this, it's for you too. Be blessed this Mother's Day, my friend <3 


Only moms want to talk about constipation, and no one wants to deal with it, but it’s a common issue that affects many children. If your child is dealing with constipation, you know how uncomfortable and cranky it can make them feel. As a first time mom, my 6 month old had a lot of trouble when we introduce dairy to her diet. 13 years later, her little sister has similar issues. It's heartbreaking and frustrating because they are not themselves. It can be confusing if you don't know what's going on. For both of my girls, they were sweet as pie.... until they got backed up! Then the whole house was walking on eggshells until they pooped and we could all breath again. Fortunately, there are some helpful strategies that you can use to get your little one back on track. Here are some tips for helping kids with constipation.
Increase Fiber Intake
One of the best ways to help your child with constipation is to increase their fiber intake. Fiber helps move food through the digestive tract more quickly and prevents stools from becoming hard and dry. Aim to feed your child foods that are high in fiber like whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and beans. Find out what fruit and veggies are your child's favourites and be sure to keep them on hand and offer them often. Cucumbers and peppers are popular in our home. In the winter, when fruit is not in season, I like to buy frozen raspberries and blueberries. My kids will eat them frozen or in a smoothy. Some people find Fiber supplements like Metamucil or Benefiber helpful but they never really worked well for us.

Drink More Water
Making sure your child stays hydrated is also very important when dealing with constipation. Water helps keep stool soft so it can pass through the intestines more easily. Encourage your child to drink plenty of water throughout the day and avoid sugary beverages like soda or juice as these can make things worse by dehydrating them even more.

Encourage Exercise
Exercise is another great way to help reduce constipation in children as physical activity stimulates the digestive system and encourages regular bowel movements. Aim to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day—a bike ride around the neighborhood or playing tag in the basement are both great options!  For little ones, tummy massage may also help. Massage the tummy gently, in a clockwise motion.
If these options don't quite cut it for you, you may need to take some extra steps to support your little ones tummy. Both of my girls have benefited greatly from introducing pro-biotics, digestive enzymes and essential oils.

ClickHerefor my Mom's Tummy Checklist

Constipation can be an unpleasant problem for kids that often leads to tears and tantrums, (both mom and kid) but there are some simple strategies you can use to help them feel better fast. Increasing their fiber intake, making sure they stay well-hydrated, and encouraging exercise are all great ways to help ease their discomfort and get their bowels moving again. With a few small changes and extra snuggles from you, your little one will be feeling better in no time!


I saw this image the other day and it hit me smack between the eyes. I had been asking for direction on how to balance all the things, making meals for a family of 6, sorting the piles of laundry, planning youth group for my oldest, dance for my youngest, and birthday parties for both my sons, volunteering in the community and then there's my work: the never ending emails, the work plans and schedules, goal setting and team building. For years I've been seeking to figure out how to balance it all because,

All of it matters. 

I can't just cut out the things that I don't love to do. All of these things need to be done.

By nature, some of us are “go with the flow” kinda people. We find plans rather restrictive and we  are not great at time management. I actually set a timer for 5 minutes the other day, for the kids to finish their video game, and when it went off, I was like 


no wonder I'm usually late! For people like us,  living in surrender, actually comes more naturally.
It’s easy for me to say things like

 “if it doesn’t work out, it’s not meant to”


But the trap of living in this state of surrender is CHAOS. Tell me I’m wrong.

A few years ago I was told that what I needed to do was to learn skills and discipline, that this would give me peace. And there are some major skills that have helped me immensely as a wife, a mother, a business owner and a human. (here's one) My home is more organized, my kids have a better idea about what is going on each day and no longer live at the whims of their mother… mostly. 

But the trap of living in this state of discipline striving and exhaustion. Tell me I’m wrong.

Have you ever found yourself, like me, waffling between chaos and striving? The problem is, we need both.

We need both Discipline & Surrender. 

When we have one without the other surrender looks and feels like chaos.

And discipline looks and feels like striving and exhaustion.

and peace is OUT OF REACH!

But when we bring them together, when we are both disciplined and surrendered, this is where we find peace. 

And this is where we being to see miracles in our home and business!