I sat on the floor in my room with my back against the wall. I had finally allowed myself to feel what I had been holding at bay for so long. Anger, disgust, shame, loneliness, so many feelings washed over me as I remembered. And as I remembered, I cried out to God, “How?!” How can the God who calls Himself “Father” bear to watch His children suffer so greatly. If He is truly in control, why doesn’t He put a stop to all of the suffering? And where was He when I was so alone?

And in that instant an answer came. An answer that brought with it clarity and peace that I had never felt before.

“ I was always there, right beside you, holding you. And while I was holding you, I was planning, working out your healing.“

And suddenly I understood.  God is not bound by time.

We, we are in this moment, but the God of the universe is in every moment. So He can be with us in the moments of our deepest wounds and at the exact same time, He is also in the moments when we receive healing and redemption of those wounds, and also in the moment of our complete healing and restoration.

God can bare our suffering because He has already worked out our healing.

For many years I lived in fear of the pain of my past. I was afraid to look at it because I thought that maybe it would be more than I could handle. But I’ve discovered that the fear of the pain was actually greater than the pain itself. Opening up the wound and allowing it to ooze was actually far less painful than I had feared it to be.

Yes, it did hurt. I spent a season feeling extremely raw as I grieved, but as I grieved, the pain lost its power over me. And today, when those old wounds are poked I no longer lash out in pain. I am able to recognize that wounded place and I am able to see how much healing has taken place.

No matter what you are facing and feeling right now, no matter what you have faced or felt in the past, the God of the universe has already worked out your healing. And He wants to walk you through it. Ask Him now, to lead you through this. He is faithful.


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