One of the most powerful things I have discovered for improving how I think and feel is to simply smile. It may sound too simple, or maybe it sounds dumb so lets investigate this.
Some people smile all the time naturally. It comes easily to them. This isn't to say that they never feel sad or even depressed, but the natural tendency to smile is a beautiful gift.
The rest of us struggle with RBF. (resting b*$#* face) we look angry even when we aren't. How do you suppose those around us feel when they look at us frowning all the time?
Some people smile all the time naturally. It comes easily to them. This isn't to say that they never feel sad or even depressed, but the natural tendency to smile is a beautiful gift.
The rest of us struggle with RBF. (resting b*$#* face) we look angry even when we aren't. How do you suppose those around us feel when they look at us frowning all the time? 
FYI, they think they are in trouble, they think they've done something wrong. Is that how you want people to feel when they are around you?
Now take a moment to notice how you feel when you are frowning or scowling.
And notice how you feel when you are smiling.
Take a minute to allow yourself to smile. Don't plaster on a fake smile. Relax and let yourself enjoy a genuine grin, a soft smile...
....now show your teeth
no not like that, lol!!
Ok, I'm sure you can tell that this little experiment has shifted the way you feel. So I hope you can see how making an effort to smile each day can impact your life.
Funny story for you, one day when my husband and kids were waiting for me in the van. I decided to be intentional about smiling at my husband as I approached. When I got in he asked what was wrong... he thought I was mad at him! Clearly this was something I needed to do more often. It worked out though because we both had to laugh about it!
I'll leave you with one final thought. A smile is the most beautiful thing on the planet. Why wouldn't you wear one?
I'd love to hear from you! Do you suffer from RBF??
Bless you friend!
When you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you beat stress:
Grab your Free Self Care Guide
Grab your Complete & Empowered Real Self Care workbook
7 years ago I discovered how powerful essential oils can be for dealing with stress. My then, 18 month old son nearly drowned in our dugout. As the police left that afternoon he handed my husband a card for Mental Health and told him I would need it. I share my full story here in a video
Hard things are a part of life. And the beautiful thing about the hard things is that they have the ability to develop beauty and wisdom and strength in us.
This, however, is a choice. We have all seen people who have been through hard things who are bitter and angry and miserable to be around. Is that who you want to become? I'm going to assume that if you are here you desire more than that for yourself and your family.
Hard things are a part of life. And the beautiful thing about the hard things is that they have the ability to develop beauty and wisdom and strength in us.
This, however, is a choice. We have all seen people who have been through hard things who are bitter and angry and miserable to be around. Is that who you want to become? I'm going to assume that if you are here you desire more than that for yourself and your family.
Keep this in mind as you face the hard things in life, remind yourself that you can allow this challenge you face, to make you stronger, wiser and more gracious, or you can let it make you bitter, anxious and miserable.
When I returned home with my 18 month old son after spending a night in the hospital to ensure he would fully recover, I knew I didn't want to be afraid or anxious. I am rather high strung to begin with. Now I had triggers that set me off on top of it. I had a choice. I could allow those things to trigger me and be an excuse to be a basket case, or I could take control.
I chose to take control. I researched how I could use the oils to calm that physical and emotional response that I had and whenever something triggered me, I would apply the oils to calm my physical responses. This enabled me to better control my emotions and my thoughts. Rather than focussing on the fear and the image of death that I would see in my mind, I reminded myself that we were safe. My son is ok, that the image in my mind is actually an image of life. Over time, I stopped having such a strong response to the things that had been triggering me. One month later we were able to go swimming at the local pool and I felt completely peaceful. Two months later we went swimming at the lake. I sat on the beach and watched my children play in the water, completely in awe of the fact that I was able to fully enjoy our time there.
Can you see how this may help you when dealing with the hard things you are facing? Let me break it down for you.
Can you see how this may help you when dealing with the hard things you are facing? Let me break it down for you.
Step 1: Find oils that you notice sooth and calm you.
Step 2: When triggered, apply the oils and allow your body and mind to relax. Now Remind yourself of the "other side" of the situation. If you are fearful, remind yourself that you are safe. If you are angry, give yourself space to process that emotion and break it down.
Take a minute now to consider one of the stressors that is causing the most pain right now.
What is it? Write it down in your Real Self Care journal.
Now consider what the other side of it could be. What is the opposite of what you are feeling and dealing with? What do you want to feel about the situation? That is what you will focus on as you apply the oils. You can do this without the oils, I just found it so much more effective with the oils.
I recognize that this isn't easy. You are not dealing with easy things. I can almost hear you saying, "ya but Katherine, you don't know what I'm dealing with"
You're right, I don't. But you said you didn't want to be bitter and miserable right? So this is where you make the choice to focus on what you want to see and think and feel, rather than all the negative things you already are thinking and feeling.
I recognize that this isn't easy. You are not dealing with easy things. I can almost hear you saying, "ya but Katherine, you don't know what I'm dealing with"
You're right, I don't. But you said you didn't want to be bitter and miserable right? So this is where you make the choice to focus on what you want to see and think and feel, rather than all the negative things you already are thinking and feeling.
You can do this!
Bless you friend!
When you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you beat stress:
Grab your Free Self Care Guide
Grab your Complete & Empowered Real Self Care workbook
Rest is something that may seem impossible. Believe me, I understand! We have 4 children, we farm, we work. Life is busy! Last week we went camping. We came home to 2 cows out and a sewer backing up into our laundry room. This on top of the mountain of laundry and cleaning that needed to be done.
I believe we were created to enjoy our lives, not just endure them.
I believe we were created to enjoy our lives, not just endure them.
Last month, as I was contemplating running the self care challenge, I was agonizing over all the work that needs to be done. My heart is heavy for all that is going on in the world right now and I was struggling to sort out my part in all of this. What is my role? What is MY PART?
I realized that I am craving peace and rest. One morning I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Then two verses came to mind. I'll share them with you here, because, if you are feeling the weight of all that is happening in the world today, perhaps they may comfort and encourage you as well.
History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.
Ecclesiastes 1:9
So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work (toil). Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.
Ecclesiastes 2:24
Perhaps you find these verses odd, and what do they have to do with rest?? Bare with me.
The writer of these verses was one of the wealthiest and most successful people who had ever lived. He was renowned for his wisdom. He wrote an entire book about the meaninglessness of life.
Wait what?
Yes, he literally had everything a man could ever ask for. And he looked around and asked himself, what is the point in it all?? He was weary from all his toil. Can you relate?
When I read this I realized that I needed to hear it. I needed permission to enjoy my work and to rest from it because there is always going to be more that needs to be done. There is always laundry to put away, dishes to wash, mouths to feed and that's just in my own home, what about all the starving and hurting people in the world??
However, even though there is crazy stuff happening in the world right now, it's nothing new. (please don't send me the articles and the videos to convince me it's new, I've watched them all, ITS CRAZY, I know) but when we look back over history, the same kind of crazy has been happening all along. There have been plagues and corrupt government and all forms of darkness all throughout history. I can rest, knowing that someone much bigger than I, is in control of it all. I don't have to control it, all I need to do, is my part. Which is raising tiny humans who will do their part. And the only way I can do that is if I'm not a crazy angry mama. This means I allow myself to rest.
So today I encourage you to shut off the media, all media. Turn off the screens and allow your mind to rest. Allow your body to slow down. Allow yourself to enjoy this weekend. This will enable you to enter into next week rested and ready to fight the battles, feed the people, clean the things, to do the work you were created to do, and enjoy it, not just bare it.
So today I encourage you to shut off the media, all media. Turn off the screens and allow your mind to rest. Allow your body to slow down. Allow yourself to enjoy this weekend. This will enable you to enter into next week rested and ready to fight the battles, feed the people, clean the things, to do the work you were created to do, and enjoy it, not just bare it.
Tips to ensure a day of rest:
- spend a little extra time the day before cleaning so that there's less pressure to clean on your rest day
- unplug from screens and media
- play a game
- read
- eat simple meals or eat left-overs
- if you must clean, stick to the basics, clearing the table, running the dishwasher
- plan a nap if possible
- spend time outside
Bless you friend!! I hope you have an amazing, restful weekend!
When you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you beat stress:
Grab your Free Self Care Guide
Grab your Complete & Empowered Real Self Care workbook
Most women have no idea what real self care is and the current trend of self care is actually doing more harm than good. There are so many marketers out there right now selling us all kinds of crap claiming that "you deserve to pamper yourself". However, rather than nourishing your body, you end up over loading it with toxins and chemicals that the liver and kidneys need to break down, which leaves you tired and weak. Rather than building up your mind and spirit you end up spending way to much on something that doesn't last. You are left frustrated, tired and broke
Read more...A few years ago I listened to "the Hiding Place" on Audible. It's the true story of Corrie TenBoom. During the second world war she and he family hid Jews from the Nazi soldiers. When found out she, her sister and their elderly father were hauled off to a prison camp and eventually shipped off in a livestock train to a concentration camp. The novel recounts unbelievable details of the life they experienced there. One of the first things that struck me was when they were shipped off in the livestock train. The car had been filled with 40 women, yet they continued to load them in until there were 80 women packed in, standing, chest to back, for hours until they reached the camp where they were starved and abused. Despite all of this, Corrie's sister Betsy managed to remain positive and often found things to be grateful for, things that most would never chose to be grateful for. Miraculous gratitude.
At one point Betsy encourages everyone to remain thankful for life and even prays and thanks God for the lice in their filthy sleeping quarters. Corrie scoffs at he sister when she thanks God for the lice but is thankful for the shift in attitude amongst the women who had been quarrelling. Years later Corrie discovered that the lice had actually kept the guards away, allowing the women to talk and sing and read their Bible, which had given them hope and purpose in that dark place. Betsy dies in that camp. She never learns this information herself. Yet she makes the decision to the thankful nonetheless.
I don't know about you but my life is pretty fantastic compared to Betsy's. I am reminded of this often when I am tempted to grumble about my life and how hard I think it is. I need this perspective to keep me from grumbling and complaining, which just brings misery.
So todays I challenge you to go beyond being grateful. It's easy to list off things without allowing ourselves to really appreciate them. Today I challenge you to be thankful for something you would typically complain about. Something that may even make you miserable.
I've noticed an incredible thing happens when we choose to be thankful for things we typically would complain about. It shifts how we see that thing. It gives us an ability to see the good in a thing. Even in really ugly, messy things.
As I write this I am convicted of a few things that I have been grumbling about. I've actually gotten to a place where I can see the good that comes from the really hard things. The big things that have changed my life. It's actually the mundane things that I have allowed to cause me so much grief. The lego scattered down the hallway and across my sons floor, the shoes strewn across the lawn, the tiny porch that doesn't have enough storage for all the shoes that a family of 6 needs. The rain that threatens to drown our crops. The annoying email I received from a family member who meant well...... are any of these things on your list?
So today I'm choosing to be thankful for all of these things. It's amazing how my mindset shifts when I choose to be thankful for them. I automatically look for the ways that these things can be beneficial in my life. And all of a sudden they don't frustrate me any longer.
So head over to your self care journal. You may need an extra sheet of paper for this one! List off a few of those things that have been bothering you, choose to be grateful for them, what do you notice change in you?
Bless you friend!
Listen to the amazing true story yourself. Listen to The Hiding Place for free here
When you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you beat stress:
Grab your Free Self Care Guide
Grab your Complete & Empowered Real Self Care workbook
